The Land Before Time Project: Introduction
My fellow Americans. Wait…is this thing on? Oh, okay…right…
My fellow Americans, after many months of reflection and consultations with experts in the field, the US Bureau of Fabulous Bitches has ascertained that a multi-month project to survey the entire filmography of the Land Before Time series is not only wanted, but necessary to the protection of all active fabulous bitches worldwide. This study will include not only all thirteen entries in the series, all DVD special features, the existing season of the Land Before Time television show, the musical albums, and the growing body of fanfic available on the Information Superhighway. You can expect our latest field report every Thursday until this project is completed — and it may eventually be accompanied by a podcast which reviews our emerging research. We have some important topics (and more!) to address:
1) The Best Movie of the LBT Series
2) American Childhood Cinema 1988-Present
3) Dinosaurs in American Culture
4) The Fact That Kiefer Sutherland Was In LBT X: The Great Longneck Migration
Have faith, fellow Americans, these colors do not run.
I’ve always been entranced by experthood, particularly experthood in something of little value. Michael Sterling, a good friend from high school, used to be able to do the William Tell overture by snapping his fingers. I always used to admire that. Our research suggests that no blogger in the United States and associated territories is a noted expert on this subject. Divide and conquer, that’s our motto here at the USBFB.
In any case, I’m in the process of acquiring the first three entries in the series presently, so we’re going to be launching next week. Blogger and noted online investigative reporter Diana Kimball may also be joining the effort.
Until then, why not sit back and enjoy the details of this lovingly designed synopsis for a conceptualized-but-never-realized Chipmunks and Land Before Time crossover?
Noted — differences between Land Before Time and this crossover fanfic:
One of the major differences is that instead of going back in time, the Chipmunks and Chipettes actually are drawn to another world, where dinosaurs still rule the Earth. This is because during the Cretaceous-Tertiary extinction event, the asteroid that hit the Earth 65 million years ago, it caused Earth to split into two separate dimensions. Another major difference between this and the LBT series is that Littlefoot and Ali are part of the same herd and when they grow older, they fall in love and have a child named Aladar.
This project is going to be fucking epic. Good night, and god bless America.
